Health jokes
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Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
It works, my brother has never slept better
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.