Health jokes
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
l li
ll l_
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.