Blood Test

Blood Test Jokes

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

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What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo"

Two Friends are in a hospital in the lobby, Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying. Friend 1 "*crying hysterically*" Friends 2 "why are you crying?" Friend 1 "I came here for a blood test" Friend 2 "So? are you afraid?" Friend 1 "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger." Friend 2 "*crying hysterically*" Friend 1 "why are you crying?" Friend 2 "I came here for a urine test."