Blood Test

Blood Test Jokes

Drunk

Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

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  • Vampire

    Halloween joke:

    What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

    A blood test.

    Memes

    Vampire

    What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

    Lots of blood tests!

    Test

    Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

    Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

    Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

    Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

    Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

    Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

    Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

    Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

    Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

    Blood Type

    What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"