A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies "Nine"
I have an EpiPen
Friend gave it to me when he was as dying
It seemed really important to him that I have it
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Where do cows 🐮 get their medicine 💊?
At the farmacy.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive." to the corona patients
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts ANSWER: assprin
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
Doctor: You're as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That's great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can't help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I'm a family doctor
Whybare there no pharmacies in Africa? Because you can't have medicine on a empty stomach.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now
