Medicine jokes
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What is mad cow disease?
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.