Lifestyle jokes
What time is it when you get home? Time to sleep.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
Nah, they eat emo meals.
I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.
Hi! 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time at home. 🏡
What do ya call a group of emo kids hanging from a tree? Ornaments.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Who left him hanging?
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.