Lifestyle jokes
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Your mum eats cabbage.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
I love sleep 🛏!
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."
What’s an emo called Anna?
Yo mama went to Safeway to be safe.
What do you get when you cross between Tailga and emo?
Tailighmo.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.