Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh this, I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.
when you don't have a phone to play fruit ninja and improvise
today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work
Someone who was working in the tower must’ve put their phone on plane mode
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am wan kin the chef." I said that I'll come back later
I once told siri, "Hey Siri, why am i still single?" she opened the front camera.
People be like: What happened to fruit ninja? It was on your phone, Me: I upgraded now i can play on my pro max thigh/wrists
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf but then the shooter's phone goes off.
