Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f... the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests?” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest
nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns