What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”

A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest

nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

What is a priests favorite song –Magic flute in A minor

Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?

They both came in a little behind.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? they both start at 12.

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests?” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.