Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f... the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

What is a priests favorite song –Magic flute in A minor

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”

Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“F... THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest

nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests?” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.