A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Health Jokes
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
l li
ll l_
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
