Dream Jokes

Kind

Hotel
·

What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams

Puns

Anonymous
·

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

1

Forehead

Kogan 24" Smart LED TV (Series 7, EH7500) 4K
·

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

0

Sea

Anonymous
·

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

1

German

Anonymous
·

A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."

1

Woman

Gu-u-uar-fie-e-eld
·

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

4

Brother

Anonymous
·

So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered "A doctor!". I wanted to tease him so i said "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you". I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied "Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet"

Puns

A random skeleton
·

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

Girl

Anonymous
·

I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...

she died the next morning

Technoblade

Flamingo
·

Dream: Speedruns Minecraft

Technoblade: Speedruns Life

Roast

Anonymous
·

your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies, follow me on instagram: _zer0x3

6

Child

Bill Nye is hot
·

Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”

Wife

no1
·

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.

Titanic

Anonymous
·

It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

1

Depression

Sussy Baka
·

Everyone in my class: I can't wait until have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job My friends: What's your dream job? Me: I'm going to die young :))

Sugar

Daniel King
·

Why did the silly girl 👧 put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

Puns

Sportsronan (sub me)
·

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Fire

Splittingmean
·

Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.

0

Depression

Snow Da Wolf
·

The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

Log

Ray
·

I slept like a log last night.......woke up in the fireplace