Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen’t to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered ‘SUPERMAN!!!’. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said ‘Olé Olé Olé!!!’. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!’, the teacher boomed. ‘Superman’, the boy replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!’, the teacher continued. ‘In the Barbie Dream House’ ‘GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!’ ‘OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!’, the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

Why did the silly girl 👧 put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

I slept like a log last night…woke up in the fireplace

Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.

It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies, follow me on instagram: _zer0x3

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

My dad told me that his dreams were shatterd a few years ago

Then i asked him how many years ago

He replied with ”when were you born?”

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone