STD jokes

What STD can you get from phone sex?

Hearing AIDS.

Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

TDS? More like STDs.

What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?

Standing ovation!

People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.

Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.

What do you call an STD?

Elenji.

I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)

Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)

What do you call a policeman/farmer?

A farmer in blue!

Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?

'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.