when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

When your crush walks in class but youre homeschooled…

i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

Guys my sisters pregnant!

Im finally a dad!

How do you circumcise a hill billy… Kick his sister in the jaw

When you’re f...ing your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?

-It makes your sister jealous

So there I was f...ing my sister and she’s shouts “god you f... like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till i realized it is a family buisness

What do you say after committing incest?

No Chromo!

Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest? Mom: Shut up and keep licking.

When meeting her parents don’t require you to leave the house

So I heard Kenny’s mom got moved to a nursing home. He’ll probably leave her alone now. He doesn’t eat vegetables.

My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I f...ed his girl

So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”

The sexual shout “Yes Daddy” probably originated in alabama

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f...ing awesome.