My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying "b positive b positive" but its hard to be positive with him gone
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer...
Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok
What do fish 🐟 take to stay healthy ?
Vitamin Sea.
Where do cows 🐮 get their medicine 💊?
At the farmacy.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning
So i went to the doctors and the doctor said "Pick a star sign any star sign" So i said "Aquarius" And the doctor said "nah mate you've got cancer"
