What's soft and feels like dog?
The fur coat I bought you from Temu.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
What do you call it when two gay roosters fight?
Cockfighting
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
What do black people and sports cars have in common?
Getting a noise complaint for being so loud.
Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?
Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
What do pedophiles and guitars have in common?
They both fingered A minor.
What do you get when you cross Freddie Mercury and Dracula?
A dead man with AIDS.
Yo mama is so stupid that she called pest control for gym rats.
Yo mama is so old that she had the first written copy of the Bible.
What do you get when you cross a blonde chick and a garden tool?
A dumbass hoe.
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
How was Jenga invented?
By watching the Twin Towers collapse.