Disease jokes
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
Time heals all wounds. Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
Stand? Wait. No.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
You know who else has dementia?
Comments for answer.
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!