Dead Baby jokes
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.