Dead Baby Jokes

in Child

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.


(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

  1. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

  2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

  3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

  1. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

  2. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

  3. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

  4. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

He must never know

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.


Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

  • 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.

How did the Dead baby cross the road? It was strapped to the chicken.

Freddie the mistake

I was gonna tells dead baby joke but I decided to abort


(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

in Baby

Whats the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It’s a suprise when you find the treasure


What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

Dead baby Pile

What’s worse than a dead baby?- A pile of dead babies- whats worse than that? -The one on the bottom is alive.- And whats worst than that is, the baby has to eat it’s way out

in Baby

How do you get 500 dead baby’s into a car? A blender

How do you get 500 dead baby’s out of a car? A straw


What’s funny about dead baby jokes. -They never get old.

EJ Perez-Garcia

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What’s so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.


Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees


Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.


whats the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

About 5000 calories


How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby

in Sadness

I was going to tell a dead baby joke… I decided to abort

What’s the difference between a dead baby and an orange? I don’t keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.


whats the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? . . . i take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.