Dead Baby

Dead Baby Jokes

Abortion clinic

(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

Baby

How did the dead baby cross the road?

It was strapped to the chicken.

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

    About 5000 calories.

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  • Baby

    What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

    - One dead baby in five garbage cans.

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

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  • Trampoline

    What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

    I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

    Baby

    What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

    I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

    Baby

    How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?

    A blender.

    How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?

    A straw.

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  • Baby

    What's worse than a dead baby?

    A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

    Santa Claus

    What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

    Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

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  • Baby

    What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

    One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

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  • Baby

    What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?

    1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.

    Baby

    How do you make a dead baby float?

    1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

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  • Baby

    What's worse than a dead baby?

    A pile of dead babies.

    What's worse than that?

    One's alive at the bottom.

    What's even worse than THAT?

    It eats it's way out.

    Wait it gets worse...

    It goes back for seconds.

    Just one more I swear...

    It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

    I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

    Baby

    What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?

    Stopping it with the shovel!

    Baby

    What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

    ...

    I'm still trying to think of an answer.

    Baby

    Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

    That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.