Dead Baby Jokes

Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

- 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.


Whats the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a suprise when you find the treasure


(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.

5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? One's alive at the bottom. What's even worse than THAT? It eats it's way out. Wait it gets worse... It goes back for seconds. Just one more I swear... It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

How do you get 500 dead baby’s into a car? A blender

How do you get 500 dead baby’s out of a car? A straw


One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked "What does that mean?"

I said "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person. So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.