Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
my friend " ya mama so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch" me " THAT JOKES OLDER THAN YOUR MOM "
Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!
A kid is watching tv and sees an ad about adopting an animal,he then turns to his mother and says “do we have to adopt a donkey” “no” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it…we adopted you”.
You’re at home alone, sitting in the dark with the TV on. The TV starts to float in the air, what do you say?
Put it down ni**er
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,“Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders”
Why is Ronan’s forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter’s ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan’s forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy
During the election campaign of 2012 we heard about Obama but we fought they said Osama. So I told my friend grab his gun and lets have some fun. So during one of Obama’s campaign we both shot him to death, which lasted a while. Then my friend said “lets go get piz drunk at Mavericks bar”. Then on TV they talked about Obama death and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said “My favorite TV show is Vegetales”
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I’m happy I was late to work! I mean… I could’ve di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.