What’s a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? – Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really really horny. Jack who hadn’t stuck it in for a few weeks was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. “1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a f...” she said as she stroked his ever hardening one-eyed snake. “Yeah, i’ll have both of them” said Jack who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and f...ed for an hour. After that they both contracted AIDS, and died of it as they did not see a doctor. THE END
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, “2 years, 2 side-hoes.” She got an old lexus. The second lady says, “10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute.” She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, “Fck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, “I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse.” “How!?” The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a dck!”
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up f....
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer.
A prostitute can beat my d**k anyday, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes f... bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl’s birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!