Prostitution jokes
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!