There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry …I stop soon

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest

a least one does something when it is triggered

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again I almost killed myself

What is the best cure for aging?


I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

What’s the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.

suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry