Suicide Jokes

What's a depressed persons favourite drink

Depresso espresso

Nah just kidding it's bleach

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it's a failed stunt.

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked…

My attempts in 2019,2020 and 2021!

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"