Suicide Jokes

“I’m thinking about killing off the main character in this book I’m writing.”

“What type of book is it?”

“An autobiography.”

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon

What's a depressed persons favourite drink

Depresso espresso

Nah just kidding it's bleach

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control

Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!

Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"