what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest

a least one does something when it is triggered

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work…

He’s a suicide bomber.

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”

Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”

Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”

Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”

Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again I almost killed myself

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”fuck off you won’t bring it back!”

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

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