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The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work…

He’s a suicide bomber.

I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”f... off you won’t bring it back!”

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest

a least one does something when it is triggered

suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Roses are red, I dont know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

Suicide is illegal because it’s a crime to destroy government property.

What is the best cure for aging?


Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.🙂💊💉

Suicidal people are ground breaking

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

What makes suicide illegal?

Getting caught.

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school