Suicide Jokes

Not so Anonymous

What's a depressed persons favourite drink

Depresso espresso

Nah just kidding it's bleach

Anonymous

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

Anonymous
in Depression

Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind

Anonymous

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

5
Anonymous
in Depression

Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

5
Anonymous

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it's a failed stunt.

Kattttt

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

9
Anonymous

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon

6
justdepression
in Depression

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control

Anonymous

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

Anonymous

What do suicidal people do in their spare time?

Hang out.

2
Shannon Hamilton
in Depression

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

Ropeswithoutratingonebay

There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.

4
Anonymous

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Anonymous

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

Anonymous

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

1
Nah Fam

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here

Brooky

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked…

My attempts in 2019,2020 and 2021!

Matt G

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

The Irish Outlaw

I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"