Suicide Jokes

“I’m thinking about killing off the main character in this book I’m writing.”

“What type of book is it?”

“An autobiography.”

9

Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

1

Fuck it suicide is wrong but if you jump off a bridge and yell parkor its a failed stunt

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal...

Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!

3