Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you? Your virginity
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
if you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! it cuts itself!
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot“.
A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok… what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board
“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.
Why was 10 traumatized? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
I am on the german website
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa? His life insurance
what do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
they blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
If a blind person can’t see then, do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"