I would name my dog five miles so I could say I walk five miles every day but today I ran over five miles

why do emos like yo-yo’s? cos they get strangled by the string

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?.

Travis Spick-le.

What’s a dumbfuck’s favorite condiment to put on his burger?.

Re-tarter sauce.

Why did the dog cross the road?To get to his owner

Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last year and it is still printing

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?.

Motherfuckers.

why cant orphans have iphones cuz they cant fine the home button

your forehead is so big even mega mind knew you were smarter

I think I found the worst joke in life ,For me it’s that i have always been unwanted and alone for my hole life and I’ve have never even been In a relationship with anyone and I’m 31 years old and I also know that deep down, I’m always going to be alone and unhappy ,all I get out of life, is seeing everyone else with someone ,and knowing it will never happen for me , I think that’s the worst joke I can think of .LIFE. Still living when you know you’ll never find someone to be with I apologize with the wording to this it’s another thing I am a failure at

feel free to comment

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

“Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?”

“Ok.”

“What town did you grow up in?”

“Oral.”

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor

How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None there is no electricity

Define abnormal life.

Waking up everyday living a sane life!

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

Hellen Keller walked into a bar… then a table… then a chair

Why do people want to jump off buildings? Because they want to become superman.