Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: None, they both come up and down the chimney covered in ash.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
Spanish folks must love Olaf because they say his name to me all the time.
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.
Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"
Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"
Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."
Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.
Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"
Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"