If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Incest. When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
I'd tell a Luigi joke but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. what do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head? A. An ambulance.
Q .What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO? A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
