New teacher walks in New Teacher : hi there class my name is Mr. willy i will be yo math teacher Me in shock Willy Me : Willy Wonka is that you?!

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your Hare cut!

What’s the difference between an apple and an orthan

The apple gets picked

Knock knock. Whose there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!

(Or Dees nuts in yo mouth!)

Have you ever had sex camping ⛺

It’s inTENTS

why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms.

knock knock? who’s there. not sally.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died it’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine

your mamas so ugly that when she looks in the mirror u can see micah

your so hot when ur girlfriend tries to suck ur cock it burns her mouth

EHO

yo mama so fat it took Thanos 2 snaps

your mamas so fat that when she went to space there was no space left

your so ugly that when your mama had u she tried to give u away but there was nowhere to give u

yo mama’s so skinny that when she walks out side she floats to heaven

RTG iceberg?

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it…what do you do? You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

ahem… if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this

Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?

or

hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?

some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser so i packed up her clothes and left

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.