New Health Jokes

What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

Air quality alert code brown!

That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.

if ur fat and transgender, then would you be considered transfat?

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it."

What's the difference between sex and mental illness?

Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness

Roses are red, oranges are orange. Get a life, quit watching porn.

what were the last words of your grandma in 2020?

"Oh, I think I forgot my mask"

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam? The doctor take off his watch

What do you call black Man having a seizure? Chocolate shake

a UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

It was a faliure because

South Americans don’t know the word “please”

Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest”

Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion”

Balkans don’t know the word “give”

Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts”

Africans don’t know the word “food”

Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage”

and Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat? VEGETABLE OIL!

I’ve been munching away on these new tic tacs recently and honestly, they are really good. It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty tho, so it’s time to get some more!