Dark Humor

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.


they say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.


I broke up with my girlfriend so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I´m still choosing." She looked horrified.


girl: hey why don't you come over?

guy: i cant. cops are looking for me, they say i killed 2 people.

girl: cmon, my parents aren't home.

guy: about that. . .

Do you have dark humor?

Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying..... but I decided to abort.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

my family is like treasure, you need a shovel and a map to find them.

My Child: Dad, am I beautiful? Me: You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at.


My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that." Then I unplugged his life support.

Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.