My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I´m still choosing." She looked horrified.
I broke up with my girlfriend so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans
they say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.
Do you have dark humor?
Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying..... but I decided to abort.
girl: hey why don't you come over?
guy: i cant. cops are looking for me, they say i killed 2 people.
girl: cmon, my parents aren't home.
guy: about that. . .
My Child: Dad, am I beautiful? Me: You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at.
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand?
The blind start reading your face
Why cant homeless people be gay?
They dont have a closet to get out of
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that." Then I unplugged his life support.
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
my family is like treasure, you need a shovel and a map to find them.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair Now we're playing rocket league
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said "hot wheels"
What is the differences between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
What do U.S airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb
