Fitness jokes
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma dik fit in your mouth.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!
So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.