Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn’t fit in the pot.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

What’s the hardest part about being a paedophile?

Trying to fit in.

I like my couches like my I like my women… Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.

How many gay guys can u fit on a bar stool? Four just flip it over.

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool

you flip it over

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”

How many times can 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out

what shoes do pedofiles wear? White vans. How do pedofiles fit in? They force it to go in. How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedofile comes in. What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? “Ho ho ho!”

Your so dam fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn’t fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn’t find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.

if the shoe fits perfectly why did it fall off

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, “hey what’s that?” Lil Timmy looks down and says, “oh that, that’s only my little red race car.” They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, “hey what’s that?” Lil Susie looks down and says, “oh that, that’s only my little red race car garage.” They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, “hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage.”

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, “what’s wrong?” Lil Susie says, “well Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn’t fit so we cut them off.”

How many times does 47 fit into 9? get in the van and find out.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little boy says, “That’s my little red race car.” 10 minutes later the boy looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little girl says, "that’s my little red race car garage.” So later that night the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She said yes and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit. Down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor, the mother asks "What happened?” the little girl says, “We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off.”

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4…if you turn it upside down

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