Health jokes
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
Why did the doctor get mad?
Because he was losing his patients.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.