Health jokes
Why are you so white?
Because you have no lotion on.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Memes
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!