Health jokes
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?
The wheelchair.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.