Jew jokes
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
What's a Jew's worst nightmare?
A frozen bank account.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”