Kidney jokes

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?

A KIDNey!

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?

Dial-ISIS!

Yo mama so [full of] kidney stones Thanos used them for his gauntlet.

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."