Shower thoughts

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Common

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Woman

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

Disney

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Disney

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

Pride

What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?

Skittles.

Prostitution

What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

Helen Keller

Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?

Pedophile

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

Cancer

What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

Difference

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.

Seatbelt

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Africa

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Similarity

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'