How is $ex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Sad Sad Sarah
In twilight hues, my heart doth break,
A sorrow deep, a pain that makes me quake.
My love, oh how it did depart,
Leaving naught but shattered pieces of my heart.
The memories we shared, now tainted with despair,
Echoes of joy, now filled with tears.
The touch of thy hand, now just a distant dream,
A longing so strong, yet impossible to gleam.
Thy lips, once sweet, now bitter taste,
A cruel fate, our love so hastily laid waste.
The words we spoke, now empty air,
Our hearts, once one, now torn apart and bare.
In vain I wait for thee to return
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed up by a period.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? A cherry float.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids.
What do boobs and toys have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
20. Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.