Situation jokes

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.

It was tense!

Why can't orphans play poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?

Family photo.

I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.

Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.

He really shook things up today.

What time is it when you say "bad day?"

Why are orphans so gayyyyyyy?

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Couldn't be me being an orphan.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Monster: “I will devour your family.”

Orphan: “Oh.”

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?

Because his dog had a sore throat!

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."