so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"... But she did.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying
When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder
That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside
Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!
Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
why did the vegetable cross the road. He didn't he just sat there
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy "What's going on here!?" He exclaims. The wife replies "See, I told you he was stupid."
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
When u see a kid yelling and u wanna leave :((((((((
guys this has to stop lets tell there parents oh wait
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.
an assassin threatens a planet the planet remains calm the assassin:"do you not realize the gravity of this situation?
What's red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.
Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills." grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence." grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
