When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”
Genie: “Wish granted!”
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.