Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

“What do we want?”


“When do we want them?”


Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

My family is like a treasure…

You need a map and shovel to find them.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

“Dad, how do stars die?” – “Usually an overdose.”

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Dark humor is a lot like food.

Not everyone gets it.

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

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