Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.