These short jokes are shorter than 140 characters. Yo mama jokes and Chuck Norris facts are also short, but are not included here.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

0

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

0

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

1

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

0

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

0

“Dad, how do stars die?” – “Usually an overdose.”

0

Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? – Because the sign says No Tres passing.

0

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. – Then the librarian told me to take it out.

0

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

0

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

0

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

0

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

1

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

0

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.

0

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

What is Mozart doing right now? – Decomposing.

0

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

0

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

2

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

0

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. – But he’s still making fun of me.

0
WorstJokesEver.com uses cookies.