There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size
I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i’m not gonna die the same way.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies
I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage
Grandpa: you can’t have phones within 15 feet of the table Me: and you aren’t allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”