I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.
what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest
a least one does something when it is triggered
An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
Two men were talking about their wives
The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “F... off, you won’t bring it back.”
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.