Short Jokes

Puns

Anonymous

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...

9

Puns

Anonymous

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

bernard

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

3

Girl

Anonymous

Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.

6

Puns

Anonymous

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

video games

in Puns

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Man

Anonymous

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. -- I gave him a glass of water.

Marriage

Anonymous

Two men were talking about their wives

The first man says "My wife is an angel." The second man says "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Number

Anonymous

When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body... now what”

Woman

Anonymous

Wives are like grenades... -- Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

Puns

Anonymous

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

2

Baseball

Anonymous

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat

9

shawzy

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

4

Puns

Anonymous

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.

3

The Special

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Hide

Anonymous

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

billy teh boot

in Bad

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself...

Where the f*ck is my roof?

Me

in Puns

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

John Doe

in Anti-jokes

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Marriage

Anonymous

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."