My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?

-It makes your sister jealous

My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You’re welcome, Backseat.

Guys my sisters pregnant!

Im finally a dad!

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen’t to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered ‘SUPERMAN!!!’. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said ‘Olé Olé Olé!!!’. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!’, the teacher boomed. ‘Superman’, the boy replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!’, the teacher continued. ‘In the Barbie Dream House’ ‘GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!’ ‘OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!’, the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

What runs but never stop

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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