My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

Guys my sisters pregnant!

Im finally a dad!

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?

-It makes your sister jealous

I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.

Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it.

Guy: No I see your sister’s head

What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

So there’s this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says “I’ve got an idea!”, and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies “Well for your daughter, Denise” “That’s a nice name” comments the mother, “but what about my son?” The uncle simply replies “Denephew”.

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

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