My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

Guys my sisters pregnant!

Im finally a dad!

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?

-It makes your sister jealous

I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”

My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

How do you circumcise a hill billy… Kick his sister in the jaw

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