Exercise jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

What is Jesus's favorite exercise?

Cross Fit.

What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.

When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.