Exercise jokes
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
I did a walk today, but I did have a good day. Tomorrow night, I...
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.