Exercise jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

What is Jesus's favorite exercise?

Cross Fit.

What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.