Exercise Jokes

What is Jesus's favorite exercise?

Cross Fit.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦