What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables
Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says "tell ya what, spell out "lad" in salad" she spells L A D, Johnny replies "spell "rot" in carrot" she spells R O T, Johnny says "now spell "fuck" in vegetables or fruits" she says "there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits" Johnny exclaims "thats what ive been trying to tell you!"
3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
Why are tomatoes đ the slowest vegetable?
Because they canât ketchup.
Whatâs the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos? They both have barcodes
whats the difference between a baby and an onion? i cry when i chop up an onion
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel it's skin off.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
Whatâs the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber đ„