Vegetable jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

Why do hospitals have fans?

To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.

"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.