Vegetable Jokes

Lol
in Offensive

What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common… they both carry vegetables

6
Anonymous

Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

3
Anonymous

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn’t fit in the pot.

8
Anonymous

Where can you find some of the world’s largest vegetables? – In an American nursing home.

6
Anonymous

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.

Daniel King
in Tomato

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

paris

Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.

4
Mr. Nuclear/little johnny
in Little Johnny

So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says “tell ya what, spell out “lad” in salad” she spells L A D, Johnny replies “spell “rot” in carrot” she spells R O T, Johnny says “now spell “fuck” in vegetables or fruits” she says “there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits” Johnny exclaims “thats what ive been trying to tell you!”

OfficiallyCommunist

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

4
Anonymous
in Puns

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

2
Anonymous

I was making vegetable soup yesterday but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit

Anonymous

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the lysol didn’t kill.

buzzernot

why did the vegetable cross the road. He didn’t he just sat there

Your next door newborn
in Bad

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry … So I threw a carrot at her

Director Mushroom

What do you call a pool full of handicapped people

Vegetable soup

1
Anonymous
in Orphan

what the difference between and orphan and a vegetable? The vegetable gets picked.

Ethan spastic

What does a broken down vegetable say? I need new wheels.

Anonymous

So I heard Kenny’s mom got moved to a nursing home. He’ll probably leave her alone now. He doesn’t eat vegetables.

Anus McDickNuggets

what’s the worst song to play infront of a vegetable? “james brown - get on up”

what’s the worst song to play infront of a handicapped kid? “van halen - jump”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? I can’t breathe - Juice Wrld

Anonymous

Mixed vegetables is just special Ed class change my mind