Vegetable jokes
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"