Vegetable Jokes

Lol

in Offensive

What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables

6

Hospital

Anonymous

Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

3

Orphan

Anonymous

what the difference between and orphan and a vegetable? The vegetable gets picked.

Mr. Nuclear/little johnny

in Little Johnny

So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says "tell ya what, spell out "lad" in salad" she spells L A D, Johnny replies "spell "rot" in carrot" she spells R O T, Johnny says "now spell "fuck" in vegetables or fruits" she says "there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits" Johnny exclaims "thats what ive been trying to tell you!"

Anonymous

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

9

Anonymous

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

6

Anus McDickNuggets

what’s the worst song to play infront of a vegetable? “james brown - get on up”

what’s the worst song to play infront of a handicapped kid? “van halen - jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? I can't breathe - Juice Wrld

a theripist

what do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

a baked potato

Anonymous

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the lysol didn't kill.

Fence

Anonymous

Why did the carrots laugh? They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

Shaded

What's big round and can't move?

A vegetable

Cannibal

Anonymous

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

Rest

Anonymous

Today i went to get a sub and they asked me if i wanted all vegetables.. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

Flipdangdoo

Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz u can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Ariana thompson

What starts with a v and ends with an k, a veggie Karen

William Danksphere

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

Pickup Lines

Anonymous

if u were a vegetable u would be a cute-cumber

Anonymous

What do you call a special ED class that’s flooded?

Vegetable soup.

Anonymous

I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.

Anonymous

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables