Vegetable Jokes

in Offensive

What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables


Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.


I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.


Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.


What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

Daniel King
in Tomato

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

Anus McDickNuggets

what’s the worst song to play infront of a vegetable? “james brown - get on up”

what’s the worst song to play infront of a handicapped kid? “van halen - jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? I can't breathe - Juice Wrld

in Orphan

what the difference between and orphan and a vegetable? The vegetable gets picked.


Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.


If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

Mr. Nuclear/little johnny
in Little Johnny

So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says "tell ya what, spell out "lad" in salad" she spells L A D, Johnny replies "spell "rot" in carrot" she spells R O T, Johnny says "now spell "fuck" in vegetables or fruits" she says "there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits" Johnny exclaims "thats what ive been trying to tell you!"


why did the vegetable cross the road. He didn't he just sat there

in Puns

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

in Darkness

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The Wheelchair.


Mixed vegetables is just special Ed class change my mind


I was making vegetable soup yesterday but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit

Your next door newborn
in Bad

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry ... So I threw a carrot at her


Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people? he does not like roasted vegetables

William Danksphere

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

Director Mushroom

What do you call a pool full of handicapped people

Vegetable soup