Health jokes
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
I look diseased
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
"You is so black your mama fainted."
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.
Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.
Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
Why drink water and not bleach?
I pregnoot.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.