Gay Jokes


A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well… My oldest son just came out…” The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks. “My middle son just came out.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. “Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son.” He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. “My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”

Butters Stotch
in Puns

I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet


Do gay midgets come out of the cabnit


Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.


Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars

Mail man tom

Gays: I like men

Strait: I like women

Bisexual: a hole is a hole

in Police

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.


the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

in Marriage

“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father.

“It means ‘happy’,” replied the father.

“Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?”

“No, son, I have a wife.”

in Offensive

what do you call 6 gay men going to war ? rainbow 6 siege


Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

in Mum

Kid: Are you gay? Me: No im straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

in Offensive

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they’re always coming out of the closet

Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out

in Orphanage

Q: why can’t orphan be gay A: they have nobody to call daddy

What's My Name?

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard’s mom: Why didn’t you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn’t. Richard’s mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.


whats one thing gay people can’t draw? a straight line.

you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight

Queerly Clear
in Park

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”

Dick Richard

What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up.