Gay jokes

I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.

Gays: "I like men."

Straight: "I like women."

Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."

A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.

What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."