Gay Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

Gays: "I like men."

Straight: "I like women."

Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.

Kid: Are you gay?

Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

What do gay people and mice have in common?

They both hate pussy cats!

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

What’s wrong with a gay bbq?

All the hotdogs taste like shit.

What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"