Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.