You jokes
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!