Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “F... off, you won’t bring it back.”
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Two men were talking about their wives
The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”
A black man entered a bar with a parrot on the his shoulder. The bartender says “that looks exotic, where’d you get it” “Africa” the parrot responded.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!
Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.