Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “F... off, you won’t bring it back.”

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Two men were talking about their wives

The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

Why is Black Panther every cops worst nightmare?

He is a bulletproof black man

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A black man entered a bar with a parrot on the his shoulder. The bartender says “that looks exotic, where’d you get it” “Africa” the parrot responded.

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?


Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

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