Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Two men were talking about their wives

The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Why is Black Panther every cops worst nightmare?

He is a bulletproof black man

A black man entered a bar with a parrot on the his shoulder. The bartender says “that looks exotic, where’d you get it” “Africa” the parrot responded.

man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

None… he fell

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small p....es?”

The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

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