Lesbian jokes
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.