Lesbian jokes
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Memes
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.