Lesbian jokes
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out. ... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.