Lesbian jokes
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.