You jokes
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"