You jokes

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Lion 🦁.

Lion who?

Lion again, aren't you?

Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Like if you love food!

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?

You: No.

Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.

So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it.

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.

But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)