You jokes
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.