You jokes
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?