You jokes
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Memes
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.