You jokes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!