Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. – Then the librarian told me to take it out.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Is sex a joke? Because I don’t get it.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What’s the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
“May I push your stool in?”
What’s the difference between hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Doctor: “Does your penis burn after intercourse?”
Patient: “I don’t know. I never tried lighting it.”
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? – “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”
What’s the difference between a gay and a freezer? – The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.