You jokes
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!