You jokes

What do you call a banana eating a banana?

Canabananalism.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

What do you call a spaceman’s willy?

A Shuttlecock!

Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?

You have to turn them on before they start to suck.

Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!