My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
Why did the dog 🐕 join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador
What do you call a dog 🐶 that tells time?
A watchdog.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Roses are red, violets are blue I buttfucked scooby doo
Your hairline is so far back paw patrol couldn’t finish there mission
What do you call a dog with no legs...
My asian neighbors dinner.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
my dog is pregnant i’m a be a ... i don’t know?
oohh a owner
