Dog jokes
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What has a magic car? A magic dog.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
I love ❤️ dogs.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.