Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy…

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging

what is the difference between the rook and the bishop the rook goes straight while the bishop f...s the kids

Why does everyone at school make fun of the cripples kid. Because he can’t stand up for himself.

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset

Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”

Genie: “Wish granted!”

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

What do you call a annoying emo kid, a nuseance

man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

Stephen hawking walked into a bar. just kidding:(

What do you call an asian kid who’s bad at math?

An orphan

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don’t make a white

Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

at class,a kindergartner named jeffrey,was supposed to do a project on which superhero his dad would be.1 kid said,my dad would be superman because he is strong.the teacher congratulated him.another kid showed his project and said,my dad would be batman because he has all of these cool electronics he uses every day.once again the teacher congratulated him on his work.then the last kid jeffrey,showed his project and said,my dad would be spiderman,because he pins me to the ground,and shoots out a sticky white substance.

So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

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