Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him "why are you late?" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake" Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him "why are you late" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake", The last kid walks in and the teacher says "why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents."
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read "its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path." People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
One time this kid came back from school and said "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said "Good news please.'' and the boy said "I got 100% on my math test today" and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said "Now to the bad news, I LIED"
I'm funny but sad I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
