Kid Jokes

Anderson moon

Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

Anonymous
in Orphan

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: OOF

Teacher: Is anyone missing.

Students: Your Parents

Whats_My_Name?
in Annoying

A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “why are you late?..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!

❤️ Tara ❤️
in Funny

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

WOW
in Stupid

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Anonymous

Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy…

Anonymous
in Orphan

Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”

Genie: “Wish granted!”

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Anonymous

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

2
Anonymous

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

9
Sasha

Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.

Anonymous
in Marriage

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset

4
Crackhead

Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging

9
Anonymous
in Orphan

Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why are you doing that?

Dad: So you won’t get bored there

Jackson Gentry

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag

One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries

3
Anonymous

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

4
Anonymous
in Orphan

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags I asked if he was an orphan he said “Yeah what gave me away” I said his parents

Cranbox

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Anonymous

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

8
Daniel King
in Grape

Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?

Because she loves raisin kids.

Anonymous

One time this kid came back from school and said “Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?” And his mom said "Good news please.’’ and the boy said “I got 100% on my math test today” and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said “Now to the bad news, I LIED”