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Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”

Genie: “Wish granted!”

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy…

Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Why does everyone at school make fun of the cripples kid. Because he can’t stand up for himself.

When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom and you think your in the clear but the Down syndrome kid says “goodbye”

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don’t make a white

There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn’t get what he wanted. I told me friend there’s a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him “The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a ‘hole’ lot of fun.”

at class,a kindergartner named jeffrey,was supposed to do a project on which superhero his dad would be.1 kid said,my dad would be superman because he is strong.the teacher congratulated him.another kid showed his project and said,my dad would be batman because he has all of these cool electronics he uses every day.once again the teacher congratulated him on his work.then the last kid jeffrey,showed his project and said,my dad would be spiderman,because he pins me to the ground,and shoots out a sticky white substance.

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset

What do you call an asian kid who’s bad at math?

An orphan

Stephen hawking walked into a bar. just kidding:(

man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and f... me”

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit i forgot but they’re both locked in my cellar right now.