You jokes
How do you spell bee reversed?
əəq
I watched a potato farmer get arrested the other day.
She kept yelling, "Do you know who I yam?"
What do you call a dancing chair?
Ring around a Rosie.
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."
Today a canvasser came to my door asking if I wanted to make a donation to protect women in the Congo.
I told her no.
The canvasser got a little upset with me and said, "Don't you know that the Congo is the rape capital of the world?"
"Then they should be used to it by now," I replied.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
If you are a female pedo, I am looking for you.
And if you want, I'll give you my wand.
What do you call a puffer fish? A fish!
What's big, black, and lights up when you touch it?
A phone.
What do you call a stupid bear?
The bear that's gonna give this an explanation, and he's dumb.
What do you call a donkey with no feet?
A horse.
What do you call bees that produce milk?
Boo-bees!
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a train tunnel?
A train tunnel doesn’t get any wider when you rail it.
Did you hear about the midget astronaut?
He landed on Pluto.
Today I went into the library looking for books on gangstalking. The librarian leaned over the circulation desk and said, "They're right behind you."
What do you call it when human vegetables die?
Spoiled food product.
What do you get when you cross a car with a woman?
A transmission that never shifts.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a lollipop?
A cocksucker.
Wanna know why your pussy reminds me of a garbage bag?
Because you fill it, stretch it out, and let it stink for weeks.
What do you get when you add one whole and one whole?
Two holes, dummy!
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a roller coaster?
You can ride both on Ketamine, but only one will get you on the news.