You jokes

I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.

"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.

"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.

A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.

What does Michael Jackson say when he is peeing? "My wa-a-ter falls, I am calling you-hoo-hoo-hoo." The source on this? The accusers and CNN.

What is Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite song? "The boys are back in town."

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?

Kick her.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!

What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

One day I was walking next to a home less man and he was eating grass I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I said follow me you should of seen his face when I showed him my back yard 😂😂😂😂

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.

Why can't you kill a hooker?

Because they're dead inside anyway.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.