You jokes
Why did Monika look at the recycling bin with tears in her eyes?
Because she realized she just couldn't delete her feelings for you...
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?
Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.
What did Stephen Hawking's mum say to him when he asked for £10?
"You can take a run and jump!"
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.
3, 4, better lock your door.
5, 6, grab a crucifix.
7, 8, stay up late.
9, 10, never sleep again.
I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
What do you get when you cross Freddie Mercury and Dracula?
A dead man with AIDS.
What do you get when you cross a blonde chick and a garden tool?
A dumbass hoe.
Your momma is so fat, she eats insulation and thinks it's cotton candy.
What do you call an autistic person who is a dumbass? A dumbism.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Only.
Only who?
Only you make my heart beat fast.