You jokes

Balance

21 views ·

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

Restaurant

22 views ·

The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.

The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.

This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.

You

25 views ·

What do dicks and rubix cubes have in common.

The more you play with them, the harder they get.

Coach

150 views ·

What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?

Master.

What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?

Coach.

Synonym

543 views ·

A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.

The teacher says, "Oh, John!"

John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"

Hell

566 views ·

Satan: "Why are you in hell?"

Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."

Pussy

722 views ·

Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?

Her: Yes, why do you ask?

Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!

Gunpowder

450 views ·

A father tells his 10-year-old son...

"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."

His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.

Thot

270 views ·

Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.