You jokes

Blowjob

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

Emo

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Indian

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

Dark Humor

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

Dark Humor

"Say what you want about the deaf."

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

Dark Humor

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.