I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don’t have balls.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…
If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don’t like it, but you still eat it.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world? – Nothing. She’s fine.
Woman jokes aren’t funny, period.
How is a woman and a car alike put something in them and they’ll both start.