I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

0

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

2

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don’t have balls.

0

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

1

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

1

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

1

How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

2

Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

0

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…

If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

0

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

1

I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!

0

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women.

0

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

0

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

0

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

0

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

0

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don’t like it, but you still eat it.

0

What does a girl want more than anything in the world? – Nothing. She’s fine.

0

Woman jokes aren’t funny, period.

0

How is a woman and a car alike put something in them and they’ll both start.

0
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