If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don’t have balls.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
What does a girl want more than anything in the world? – Nothing. She’s fine.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…
If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Woman jokes aren’t funny, period.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
How is a woman and a car alike put something in them and they’ll both start.