Mental Health

Mental Health Jokes

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

1

Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this:

"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

or

"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic?

When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?

Half of the class: *raises hand*

Teacher: ...

The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*