Mental Health jokes
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolar bear.
Lol
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Reasons for having a shower
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.