Porn

Porn jokes

Whife

    • My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

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    • Parent

    • When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

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    • Bucket

    • I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

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    • Porn memes

    Mom

    • I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.

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    • Toy

    • I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

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    • Dick

    • I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

    As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

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    • Hypocrisy

    • A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!

    Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"

    Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"

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    • Sex

    • Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.

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    • Balloon

    • "Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

    (Later)

    "Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

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    • Mayo

    • You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

    I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

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