Humor
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
What YouTube channel did Mt. Fuji subscribe to? Chrissy Man.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.