Humor
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Top 10 Cos:
1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco
Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.