Humor
My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.
She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.
Yo momma so dumb, she thought this joke was funny.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.