Chicken jokes
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.