Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

why did the chicken cross the road?

the chicken next to him farted.

What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs! 😈🥚

You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?

What is the most musical part of a chicken 🐔?

The drumstick 🍗.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

why did the man say chickens were lucky…? because they get killed and eaten.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!

What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.

What do you call someone who takes care of chickens? A chicken tender

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

How did the Dead baby cross the road? It was strapped to the chicken.

We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it’s impeccable.

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.

Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?

He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!